Author Topic: [Kumpulan Jokes]  (Read 17608 times)

Offline xranemo

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[PIC] Kumpulan Jokes by Hiketsi
« Reply #10 on: September 24, 2008, 08:33:11 AM »
WARNING!!! 42 PICTURE!!

enjoy  /swt




ga ada tikus, mouse pun jadi  /heh


Penculikan!! Lapor POLISI!!!


Ayam aja tau antrii!!


sikembar tapi beda


eEaaaaaa


bantuin majikan nih  :shock:


helmnya lucu  /sob


wattaaaaawwwww!!!!


jgn liat orngnya  /kis




trio macan lagi mandi nieehhh!!!


mabook berat


enemy spoted!!go go go!!roger that!!!


berpelukaaaaaaaaaannnnnn (bantubles eh teletabis  :mrgreen:
[/spoiler:85612]

========================================================================





hanya hiburan semata  :mrgreen:

klo termasuk porn jokes tar diedit ^^
=========================================================================

klo ada yg mau komen gambarnya di qoutes aja ya ^^
« Last Edit: December 18, 2008, 03:12:31 PM by xranemo »

Offline ruaan

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Istilah Dalam Dunia Marketing
« Reply #11 on: September 26, 2008, 08:47:56 AM »
1.     Loe liat seorang cewek cantik d sebuah pesta..
       loe samperin trus langsung ngomong,'Gw orang kaya, nikah sama   gw yuk!'
       Itu namanya Direct Marketing

2.    Loe lagi di sebuah pesta sama temen2 gokil loe trus loe tiba2 liat ada cewe cakep banget..
       Salah satu temen loe samperin tuh cewe sambil nunjuk ke loe dia ngmg,'Dia orang kaya, nikah ama dia yah!'
       Itu namanya Advertising

3.    Loe liat seorang cewek cantik d sebuah pesta.. loe samperin trus minta nomor henponnya..
       besokannya loe telpon dia trus langsung ngomong,'Gw orang kaya, nikah sama gw yuk!'
       Itu namanya Telemarketing

4.    Loe liat seorang cewek cantik d sebuah pesta.. loe rapihin dasi gembel loe, loe tuangin minum buat dia, bukain pintu  buat dia, bawain barang2nya, trus sambil loe anterin pulang loe ngomong,'btw gw orang kaya, nikah sama gw yuk!'
       Itu namanya Public Relations

5.    Loe liat cewek cantik di sebuah pesta..
       Dia nyamperin loe trus ngmg,'Loe orang kaya kan , nikah sama gw yuk!'
       Itu namanya Brand Recognition

6.    Loe liat seorang cewek cantik d sebuah pesta..
       loe samperin trus langsung ngomong,'Gw orang kaya, nikah sama gw yuk!' . trus loe dapet gamparan pedes dari dia..
       Itu namanya Customer Feedback
 
7.    Loe liat seorang cewek cantik d sebuah pesta..
       loe samperin trus langsung ngomong,'Gw orang kaya, nikah sama gw yuk!' . trus dia kenalin loe ke suaminya..
       Itu namanya Demand and Supply Gap

8.    Loe liat seorang cewek cantik d sebuah pesta.. loe samperin tp blom juga loe sempet ngmg apa2, ada cowo laen dateng trus langsung ngomong,'Gw orang kaya, nikah sama gw yuk!' ..
       Itu namanya MarketingCompetition

9.    Loe liat seorang cewek cantik d sebuah pesta.. loe samperin tp blom juga loe sempet ngmg apa2, ada cowo laen dateng trus langsung ngomong,'Gw orang kaya, nikah sama gw yuk!' dan tuh cewe cabut pergi ma itu cowo..
       Itu namanya Losing Market Share

10. Loe liat seorang cewek cantik d sebuah pesta..
       loe samperin tp blom juga loe sempet ngmg 'Gw orang kaya, nikah sama gw yuk!' .. tiba2 istri loe nongol..!
       Itu namanya Barrier To New Market Entry
Regards,

 [size=85](<- klik this)[/size]
Noir menerima anggota baru, silahkan wisp Ruuan/ Megatron/ Chakra/ Dipzy

Offline qulpank

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if waiter function like micr*s*ft costumer service
« Reply #12 on: September 30, 2008, 08:17:30 AM »
Dennis: Waiter!

Waiter: Hi, I'll be your Support Waiter. What seems to be the problem?

Dennis: There's a fly in my soup!

Waiter: Try again, maybe the fly won't be there this time.

Dennis: No, it's still there.

Waiter: Maybe it's the way you're using the soup, try eating it with a fork instead.

Dennis: Even when I use the fork, the fly is still there.

Waiter: Maybe the soup is incompatible with the bowl, what kind of bowl are you using?

Dennis: A SOUP bowl!

Waiter: Hmmm, that should work. Maybe it's a configuration problem, how was the bowl set up?

Dennis: You brought it to me on a saucer, what has that to do with the fly in my soup?!

Waiter: Can you remember everything you did before you noticed the fly in your soup?

Dennis: I sat down and ordered the Soup of the Day!

Waiter: Have you considered upgrading to the latest Soup of the Day?

Dennis: You have more than one Soup of the Day each day??

Waiter: Yes, the Soup of the Day is changed every hour.

Dennis: Well, what is the Soup of the Day now?

Waiter: The current Soup of the Day is tomato.

Dennis: Fine. Bring me the tomato soup, and Bill. I'm running late now.

--- Waiter leaves and returns with another bowl of soup and bill.

Waiter: Here you are, Sir. The soup and your bill.

Dennis: This is potato soup.

Waiter: Yes, the tomato soup wasn't ready yet.

Dennis: Well, I'm so hungry now, I'll eat anything.

--- Waiter leaves. Then when Dennis read the bill.

Bill:
Soup of the Day ..................................... $5.00
Upgrade to newer Soup of the Day ............. $2.50
Access to support ................................... $1.00

Offline Akito

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film indonesia
« Reply #13 on: October 01, 2008, 06:22:49 AM »
Suatu saat di dalam kelas kesenian sedang dilangsungkan diskusi seru seputar perkembangan film Indonesia. Pak dosen memberi prolog bahwa saat ini industri film Indonesia sedang dalam gairah-gairahnya.

Yang jadi persoalan untuk didiskusikan adalah bagaimana kualitas film Indonesia saat ini diukur dari ide, kreativitas, tawaran-tawaran barunya, tematiknya, dan lain-lain.

Maka terjadilah perdebatan seru seputar analisis, kritik dan apresiasi film Indonesia. Ada yang berpendapat bahwa banyaknya film yang diproduksi bukan indikator kemajuan film Indonesia.

Ada juga yang berpendapat bahwa bagaimanapun banyaknya film yang sudah diproduksi merupakan bukti kemajuan film Indonesia.

Mahasiswa yang lain berpendapat meskipun film Indonesia saat ini banyak sekali, namun semua tak berkualitas, "masa gak ada bedanya film sama video klip," katanya. Wah pokoknya seru sekali perdebatan saat itu.

Namun, ada satu mahasiswa yang dari awal diskusi hingga akhir tampak bengong saja seperti enggan terlibat dalam diskusi.

Pak dosen bertanya: "Anton, dari tadi kamu kok diam saja. Apa kamu nggak suka dengan film Indonesia?"
"Nggak, Pak."
"Lho, kenapa?"
"Nggak ada teksnya, Pak. Kalau film barat kan ada teksnya."
AND THE RAIN WILL KILL US ALL
WE THROW OURSELVES AGAINST THE WALL
BUT NO ONE ELSE CAN SEE
THE PRESERVATION OF THE MARTYR IN ME

Offline Akito

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10 alasan bloger stres dan depresi
« Reply #14 on: October 01, 2008, 03:27:25 PM »
mulai ya :3

1) Blognya tidak ada lagi yang kasih komentar.

2) Sudah rajin ngasih komentar di ribuan blog, tetap ga ada yang kasih komentar di tulisannya.

3) Sudah kasih kontes-kontesan berhadiah, tetep ga ada yang kasih komentar.

4) Membaca blog yang tulisannya begitu tidak penting tapi dikomentarin oleh puluhan blogger. Sedangkan blognya sudah ditulis dengan penuh hati-hati, banyak riset sana-sini, tetap tidak ada yang kasih komentar.

5) Entah kenapa, sudah berkali-kali menyebut dirinya cowo, tetep saja disebut MBAK.

6) Nembak cewe dari blognya tapi ditolak mentah-mentah di blognya juga dan ditertawakan ribuan blogger langsung di blognya juga. Sedih! Hatiku sedih. Terlahir sebagai pecundang…

7) Salah menulis blog. Pengennya menulis sebebas-bebasnya, eh, kebablasan dan malah nyebut kalau dirinya impoten. Wo ow! Kamu ketahuan…

8) Diajak kopdar. Ketemuan di Plaza Semanggi. Foto-foto. Trus kaget, ketika foto-fotonya diposting, liat gambar dirinya ternyata digigi masih nyangkut sayur!

9) Jatuh cinta dengan seorang blogger wanita. Minta kopdar. Si blogger wanita mau. Ketemuan. Setelah ngobrol sana-sini, ternyata si blogger sudah bersuami, beranak dua pula.

10) Lihat nomor 1. (Capek mikirnya)
AND THE RAIN WILL KILL US ALL
WE THROW OURSELVES AGAINST THE WALL
BUT NO ONE ELSE CAN SEE
THE PRESERVATION OF THE MARTYR IN ME

Offline Akito

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4 penyanyi @_@
« Reply #15 on: October 03, 2008, 11:16:33 AM »
eh salah judul bisa gak momod gantiin jadi 4 penyanyi :3 (help yah)

-Attention-
bagi mod yang merasa ini terlalu nyambung yang ke ehem silakan didelete @_@
soalnya gw ngerasa ini adalah joke biasa :D

bikinan gw sendiri loh :3
tapi ada nyambung" dikit ama 3 selebritis amerika @_@

4 PENYANYI BERKUNJUNG KE INDONESIA

suatu hari Cinta Laura,Bian Hugh Warner,Anna David dan Mason Musso sedang berjalan" ke indonesia mereka melihat dua puppy sedang berduaan
lalu saat puppy betina berteriak maka mereka berempat mendatangi kedua puppy tersebut
mereka berteriak:
Cinta Laura:"Oh My Gosh!"
Brian Hugh Warner a.k.a Marylin Manson:"This is The New S**t!"
Anna David:"F**k you!"
Mason Musso:"Shake It!"
« Last Edit: October 03, 2008, 06:35:15 PM by Akito »
AND THE RAIN WILL KILL US ALL
WE THROW OURSELVES AGAINST THE WALL
BUT NO ONE ELSE CAN SEE
THE PRESERVATION OF THE MARTYR IN ME

Offline lightnerdouble

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DOA MINTA JODOH
« Reply #16 on: October 11, 2008, 04:24:31 PM »
Ya Tuhan...
Kalo dia memang jodohku...
Dekatkanlah...

Ya Tuhan...
Kalo dia bukan jodohku...
Jodohkanlah...

Ya Tuhan...
Kalau dia jodoh orang lain...
Putuskanlah...
Jodohkanlah denganku...

Ya Tuhan...
Kalau dia sudah milik orang lain...
Berikanlah orang lain itu jodoh yang lain...
Jodohkanlah dia denganku...

Ya Tuhan...
Bila dia memang benar-benar bukan jodohku...
Jangan sampai dia dapet jodoh yang lain...
Lalu jodohkanlah denganku...

Ya Tuhan...
Bila memang kami tidak berjodoh...
Biarkanlah kami terbengkalai tanpa jodoh...
Lalu jodohkanlah kami...

Amien.
Mudah2aN JodoH BeneRaN..
[size=150] " Chances Favor the Prepared Mind " [/size]
            - Lightnerdouble, 1983-now -


.....[size=85]Lightnerdouble signature created by Nizami. illegal copying is prohibited.[/size]
Play LYTO games, and prepare to disappointed!

Offline Hazwin

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Yang namanya pria..
« Reply #17 on: October 13, 2008, 10:10:32 PM »
Topic perdana di jokes nih, iseng2 aja buat =p

Denger dari temen di kelas..

Quote
Yang namanya pria itu tidak bisa dipisahkan dari 4 TA
- WaniTA
- HarTA
- TahTA
- dan..... DoTA !

ea maaf klo garing -.-
[We are hunters, not just any hunter.. We're Monster Hunter ! And united we stand !]
Well, I'm enjoying my life now~
Everyone got their own problems, so just deal with it.
~Haz, sekarang udah gondrong dan kuliah Teknik Mesin !~

Offline lightnerdouble

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CINTA PROTOTYPE
« Reply #18 on: October 18, 2008, 12:21:07 AM »
Seorang engineer sedang melakukan ujicoba
kendaraan mini fully-automatic di sebuah jalan sepi.
Tapi tak disangka,
sebuah jeep besar melintas cepat masuk ke jalan itu.
Tabrakan tak dapat dielakkan.
So mobil mini hancur.

Sambil terengah-engah, si engineer berteriak,
"Ya ampun. Apa yang kamu lakukan?
Hancur sudah prototype RXW-1007 satu- satunya di dunia!"

Kata si penabrak,
"Maafkan saya. Tapi kenapa memikirkan mobil?
Anda sendiri luka parah.
Tangan kiri Anda hancur terlindas.
Dan ..."

Dengan kaget, si engineer menegok tangan kirinya yang nyaris putus,
lalu berteriak,
"Ya ampunnnnnnnn.
Hancur juga prototype jam-komunikator-multimedia
GRF-5505 satu-satunya di dunia !!!!!"
[size=150] " Chances Favor the Prepared Mind " [/size]
            - Lightnerdouble, 1983-now -


.....[size=85]Lightnerdouble signature created by Nizami. illegal copying is prohibited.[/size]
Play LYTO games, and prepare to disappointed!

Offline YamiNoKarasu

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Yang diinginkan seorang wanita dari seorang pria ^^
« Reply #19 on: October 19, 2008, 01:32:18 AM »
What a Woman Wants in a Man

What I Want In A Man, Original List ... (at age 22)
 -----------------------------------
1. Handsome
2. Charming
3. Financially Successful
4. A Caring Listener
5. Witty
6. In Good Shape
7. Dresses with Style
8. Appreciates the Finer Things
9. Full of Thoughtful Surprises
10. An Imaginative, Romantic Lover

What I Want In A Man, Revised List ... (at age 32)
-----------------------------------
1. Nice Looking - preferably with hair on his head
2. Opens car doors, holds chairs
3. Has enough money for a nice dinner at restaurant
4. Listens more than he talks
5. Laughs at my jokes at appropriate times
6. Can carry in all the groceries with ease
7. Owns at least one tie
8. Appreciates a good home cooked meal
9. Remembers Birthdays and Anniversaries
10. Seeks romance at least once a week

What I Want In A Man, Revised List ... (at age 42)
----------------------------------
1. Not too ugly - bald head OK
2. Doesn't drive off until I'm in the car
3. Works steady - splurges on dinner at McDonalds on occasion
4. Nods head at appropriate times when I'm talking
5. Usually remembers the punchlines of jokes
6. Is in good enough shape to rearrange the furniture
7. Usually wears shirt that covers stomach
8. Knows not to buy champagne with screw-top lids
9. Remembers to put the toilet seat lid down
10. Shaves on most weekends

What I Want In A Man, Revised List ... (at age 52)
----------------------------------
1. Keeps hair in nose and ears trimmed to appropriate length
2. Doesn't belch or scratch in public
3. Doesn't borrow money too often
4. Doesn't nod off to sleep while I'm emoting
5. Doesn't re-tell same joke too many times
6. Is in good enough shape to get off couch on Weekends
7. Usually wears matching socks and fresh underwear
8. Appreciates a good TV Dinner
9. Remembers your name on occasion
10. Shaves on some weekends

What I Want In A Man, Revised List ... (at age 62)
----------------------------------
1. Doesn't scare small children
2. Remembers where bathroom is
3. Doesn't require much money for upkeep
4. Only snores lightly when awake (LOUDLY when asleep)
5. Doesn't forgets why he's laughing
6. Is in good enough shape to stand up by himself
7. Usually wears some clothes
8. Likes soft foods
9. Remembers where he left his teeth
10. Remembers when...

What I Want In A Man, Revised List ... (at age 72)
----------------------------------
 1. Breathing
« Last Edit: October 19, 2008, 05:05:55 PM by YamiNoKarasu »

~Still, All Resides Within...~
~Our Bonds of Reasoning~